Final Destination

It occurred to me that, since I am going through the vast list of horror films/series I missed over the past several years, that I have neglected to watch any of the "Final Destination" films. So, away we go with this long running horror series. This first film does have an interesting premise, and I liked the variety of ways death found to continue to chase these survivors. Unfortunately, the acting was really weak, and the dialogue felt stale and forced. The direction was very cookie-cutter and formulaic, but I still found myself interested in the story and wanted to see how it would end. This wasn't a monumental start to a series that has garnered a lot of praise over the years, so I'll be interested to see how it develops. 3/5

Final Destination on Netflix

Resident Evil: Afterlife

I know not to expect much from a ResEvil joint, but fuck me that was terrible. 2 stars, begrudgingly

Followup: The ONLY reason it gets 2 stars is Milla and Ali are frigging awesome and I'd watch them read the paper. In my imagination, they are sitting on chairs with spiked legs, reading a newspaper while bouncing up and down. The spikes on the chair legs are digging deep into Paul W.S. Anderson's flesh with every bounce.

And they're naked. But I mean, of course they are. And it's raining. Wait, newspapers? No. Weatherproof field manuals for the weapons leaning against the small stone wall behind them.

I'll stop now.

Resident Evil: Afterlife at Netflix